What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
10.06.2025 00:17
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
What is the story behind bhai dooj?
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Elden Ring Nightreign maintenance makes matchmaking less of a headache - Eurogamer
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I have no regrets .
And i lived it daily.
Are there any more 'nun' jokes?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Are there any guys, crossdressers, or transgender girls here who wear tampons?
I was very sick at this time too.
Would this be the day?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
How might an Indian girl respond to someone saying "I love you"?
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
My mum and dad in the seventies!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
A Major American Egg Farm Just Lost 90% of its Chickens - Bloomberg
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Trump proclamation seeks to restrict international students from Harvard - The Washington Post
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
5 Things to Know Before the Stock Market Opens - Yahoo Finance
We were not on the streets..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Why does Africa have all mineral resources but she is suffering economically?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
The only rule us 5 kids had .
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
What is the best way to get revenge on people who hurt you?
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Yankees will have to find ninth-inning serenity in Luke Weaver’s absence - New York Post
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
(And it was in our own minds.)
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Was to survive, this bastard.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I never cut or harmed myself..
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
So whats the point in blame.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Why did i forgive my father ?
I think the readers, may guess!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
When she asked me how she looked .
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
As i do to all so called friends.?
I was 9 years of age.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I couldn’t, believe it.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
It was going to be , some day.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I was seconnd youngest,
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I will be 64.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But ive been too sick for many years..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Especially a lifetime of it.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I said to her
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I don,t even have a pension.
My life is so biszare .
She loved him until the end.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She wouldn,t have been !
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
She was in good health!
I was scared of men, in general
She found it foreign!.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Im still living with it.
What did i know ?
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Ive learnt so much.
So, i spoilt her more .
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I write beautiful poetry .
He knew the spot.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
But, we were locked up after school.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
He resisted the act ,that day.
Comes on , in middle age.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I could never make a relationship work though!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I waited trembling.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
She married twice! .
One cannot live in the past .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
But it wasn’t much.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
We all went to grammer schools
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Put me off passion for life!!
Who then, do I blame.?
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
All the time i was locked up.
This is soul school!.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
My family never makes their pension either.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.